The Dichotomy of Discipline
Development 101: DISCIPLINE
As a strength coach and sports scientist that’s worked with everyone from the Captain America kind of Special Forces soldiers to #1 Overall draft picks in professional sports, everybody wants to know one question:
“Coach Ross, what do the most elite athletes in the world do on a day-to-day basis?”
There’s not one person that doesn’t ask about “A Day in the Life of…” (fill in the blank with your favorite athlete).
It’s fascinating to see what makes them great isn’t it?
The real concept they’re asking about comes down to one super cliche and ultimately complicated word. D-I-S-C-I-P-L-I-N-E. This obsession with what the best do and how they do it is often whittled down into a category of habits and practices the world calls Disciplines.
For evidence, we are mesmerized by legendary stories of Kobe’s “discipline” of getting up at 3 in the morning to practice. We are blown away after listening to unfathomable tales of Kenyans “discipline” of running barefoot and then winning the biggest endurance races in the world. There is not an athlete in any sport that didn’t practice other-worldly “discipline” and overcome crazy circumstances to get GOAT status.
The Infamous Mamba Mentality
So you might be asking “Wait…There’s something wrong with exercising and practicing discipline?”
Please hear me throughout this post: There’s nothing wrong with the practice of discipline, it’s just a misunderstood concept with some misplaced emphasis in the sports we play. Let’s break down what the word means and why it needs further exploration…
DISCIPLINE by the simplest definition for me is this:
To do something unpopular, uncomfortable, and inconvenient in a controlled and/or habitual practice.
Coaches and parents are mesmerized by this definition. We love our kids and the athletes we work with to display these qualities. We reward and appreciate those that don’t care about what others think of them, take a unique approach to challenges, and don’t get caught up in how hard or how long it takes to master something.
Discipline is a valuable thing. It’s how all of us have sustained some sort of success in our lives.
However, I’ve found that underneath the shiny value of discipline is often-times a mental state that is dangerous for young athletes as they develop. They tend to operate with a fear of failure, have over-emphasized values towards winning in their sport, and allow their entire identity to be wrapped up in one or more sports. They have a myopic view of what it takes to be great in life.
This approach to building discipline coupled with improper rewards or reinforcement from coaches and parents leads to burnout, frustration, and a disdain for anything and anyone that is involved in the development of the athlete’s “discipline”.
These cultures then reinforce that athletes are only loved when they display the proper disciplines in their sport, and only accepted as great when they win or achieve statistical prowess over others.
For every Kobe at the top I can tell you about 99 young adults that want nothing to do with the sport they played and the people that pushed them. That is not the desired outcome of athletic discipline.
This lifestyle of performance that a majority of coaches overlook and most parents wrestle with is challenging to diagnose. To be honest, I’ve been there personally and I’ve dealt with it everywhere I’ve coached.
It takes an honest look at the culture they’re in and constant evaluation of the “why” behind what they do.
Most times, athletes display discipline as a badge of honor and the cross they bear to become successful, sometimes to their demise. But don’t just take my word for it…
*Below is a link to an article I had read when it came out about a young woman on the Maryland Lacrosse team that talks about her journey and her struggle with success on the field and the pressures of playing at a Division I level. It’s worth your time and it’s extremely POWERFUL!*
After reading this, there are a ton of things to take away from it, but I feel that there are even more questions that most of us have as athletes, coaches, and parents.
So, I have some really great self-assessment inquiries I’ve used for a long time that you can ask yourself as an athlete in your current situation. Parents and coaches, you can evaluate and create a dialogue with your kids as well.
These questions are not meant to diagnose or give prescription to anxiety, depression, burnout, etc, but I believe it will give you great perspective on where you’re at in your Development of Discipline with the sports you play.
The timelines for these questions I think are important at the onset, halfway, and at the conclusion of a sports season. So if you play 3 sports, that’s just 9 times a year!
How are you feeling physically during training or competition? Have you noticed any unusual fatigue or soreness that doesn’t go away, or are you stronger than ever?
How motivated do you feel to train or compete right now? Do you feel excited or dread the thought of it?
Are you enjoying your sport as much as you used to?
How well are you sleeping? Do you feel well-rested when you wake up?
Do you feel anxious or overwhelmed thinking about your next game, match, or competition, or does the anticipation of competing make you smile?
How connected do you feel with your coaches and teammates?
Are you still finding time for things you enjoy outside of your sport?
Does playing and competing in sports feel like it’s part of your purpose or does it seem more like a duty or an obligation right now?
Can you recall the last time you felt truly passionate or inspired by your sport and the people involved in it?
What happened to incite that passion? What did that feel like to be so inspired?
The answers to these questions can give you great perspective if you respond to them honestly. If I’m transparent, there were times as an athlete and are times even today as a coach and parent that I feel the high and low’s of all of these questions.
I could answer on both sides of the spectrum depending on the day. The choice I make that I encourage you in is to continue to evaluate how you feel daily, and make sure that you don’t ignore things that persist. An acute feeling can turn into a chronic one if you don’t connect with others and dialogue candidly with yourself.
In closing, it is my goal to show you that there is a Higher Way to develop discipline, so stay tuned for next week’s installment of Development 101.
